Solid Ground: Pre-Order Links and Other Fun Stuff

UPDATE (April 20): The print book is here! You can now order a print copy of Solid Ground from Amazon for $14.99. The print version will also be available for order from B&N and other online retailers tomorrow!


On Monday, April 24th, you’ll finally be able to see what I’ve been doing since I left the bookselling business and fully immersed myself in the book writing business. In choosing a plot and theme for Solid Ground, I took the advice of Toni Morrison and others, who essentially say, write the book you want to read. I like to read books about how human beings struggle, how imperfect we are, how much we get in our own way and screw up our own lives, but within all that, despite all that, how we also find moments, even years, of enlightenment, happiness, and love. So, that's what I endeavored to write. I hope you find my efforts to be a worthwhile investment of your reading time. Honestly, I did my best not to write a shitty book.

Ordering
Digital versions of Solid Ground can be pre-ordered now for $6.99 in most of the places you can buy ebooks, including: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iBooks, etc. You'll get the ebook on April 24th.

Print copies will be available for order for $14.99 on Thursday, April 20th  at Amazon and from B&N and other sites on Friday, April 21st. If you order by Thursday, you’ll likely have it in your hand when it releases Monday, and possibly even a day or two earlier.

Signed Copies
I was amazed (and genuinely thrilled) that more than a hundred people responded when I asked who’d be interested in getting a signed copy of the book. If you weren’t just being kind, look for details soon on how to get your signed copy. And if you were just being kind, thanks for that too.
(But buy a copy anyway. Seriously. Buy it. Even if you don’t read it. Buy it. It's big, use it as a doorstop. And if your doors don't need stopping, stash it in the attic, you know, like a keepsake.)

Giving It Away (the book, not the ending)
One last note, I have three digital Advanced Reading Copies I’m GIVING AWAY next week BEFORE the RELEASE DAY. Stay tuned!

Thanks everyone!

Fred Phelps Is Almost Dead: My Personal Protest

Phelps and his signature picket signs.

I've never hated anyone.

Anger, rage, disgust - I've certainly felt those things, but hatred, no. No human being has ever pushed me over the edge of that dangerous precipice. If anyone got me close though, it was Pastor Fred Phelps.

Since the 1998 Westboro Baptist picket of Matthew Shepard's funeral, I've been periodically obsessed with my near-hate for Phelps and his entire nutcase "God Hates Fags" clan. My loathing for Westboro and Phelps has never been all-consuming, mostly because I manage to forget about them a few days after each whorish media-grabbing funeral picket. But like God's own demented mafia, each time I think I'm free, their carnival specter makes internet headlines again, and they pull me back in.

This morning Westboro was in the news for very different reasons. According to Nate Phelps, one of the pastor's estranged sons, Fred Phelps was ex-communicated from his own church last August. Even more interestingly, the aging Phelps is on his deathbed in a Kansas hospice.

Now, after more than fifteen years of fiery loathing, you'd think my feelings about this news would be clear. Ding-dong, the witch is almost dead. But it's not like that. Instead, the news that Fred Phelps is near death leaves me confused. As much as I might like to stand on internet hilltops and sing the "good news" at the top of my lungs, that feels all wrong to me.

When I was younger, I imagined proudly picketing Phelps' funeral. I pictured his teary family mourning their beloved hate-mongering mentor at the gravesite, and me ten or twenty yards away, holding a smarmy fluorescent picket sign. "Hey Fred, Tell Satan to Leave the Light On For Me." Something like that. But now that the moment is near, and Fred is finally about to shuffle off this mortal coil, the idea of protesting at Phelps' funeral has lost its appeal. It feels, well, mean.

I've spent the morning thinking about my options, other ways I might mark the miserable life and hateful times of Fred Phelps, and I think I've figured it out. I've decided that I will protest, but not the way Westboro does.

I'll protest by learning more about someone with whom I vehemently disagree.
I'll protest by not judging someone who is different from me.
I'll protest by keeping an open mind when I don't understand.
I'll protest by keeping an open heart when I feel afraid.

When Fred Phelps dies, I'll protest alright, by being exactly the kind of person whose funeral would be picketed by the wicked pastor and his pitiable Westboro Baptist family.

Turn of Phrase - Top WNBA Draft Pick Is Gay

Brittney Griner - #1 WNBA draft pick

"If I can show that I'm out and I'm fine and everything's okay, then hopefully the younger generation will definitely feel the same way."

- From Brittney Griner, the number one overall pick in Monday's WNBA draft. 

The 6-foot-8 Griner, who led the Baylor Lady Bears to a 40-0 season and the NCAA women's basketball title in 2012, acknowledged her lesbian sexuality this week in a Sports Illustrated interview.

According to Griner, public recognition of her sexual orientation "wasn't too difficult," as she has lived openly and never attempted to hide who she was. It also helps that the trail for professional lesbian athletes has already been blazed by women like Sheryl Swoopes, the three-time gold medalist and first woman ever signed by the WNBA, and by tennis legends Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova. 

Coming out on such a big stage takes guts nonetheless and Griner should be commended for having the mettle to be open about her sexuality. Gay kids across the spectrum need all the support we can muster, and out gay and lesbian role models in professional sports are still pathetically few and far between, particularly among male athletes.

John Amaechi and Glenn Burke

Gay men have played in the big four professional sports in the U.S., but few have ever publicly acknowledged their sexuality and none have done so before retiring from their respective leagues. John Amaechi, who played in the NBA off-and-on for several years between 1995 and 2003, came out in 2007 and was the first NBA player (albeit a retired one) to do so. Similarly, MLB outfielder Glenn Burke, who had a brief career with the LA Dodgers and the Oakland As, came out in 1982 after retiring from baseball at the tender age of 27.

Can you imagine the hullaballoo that would surround a current top NBA draft pick who came out? Better yet, what if RGIII had announced he was gay just after signing with the NFL's Washington Redskins? I'm not expecting such a revelation anytime soon in mens' professional baseball, football, or basketball, but the world is ready. 

Now, we just have to hope there's a young gay male athlete somewhere out there with as big a heart and as much courage as Brittney Griner.

Celebrating National Coming Out Day and Remembering Matthew Shepard

This is a 2018 update of an article that was originally published in October 2011.

What a strange coincidence that the celebratory National Coming Out Day event occurs each year on October 11, the day before the anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death.

At the risk of dampening the uplifting message of NCOD, I like to use this time each year to remember Matthew, and in so doing, bring attention to the enormous need we have for greater tolerance in our society, as well as the importance of showing support for those among us who struggle to accept their own sexuality.

Matthew Shepard

Matthew Shepard was 21 years old when he died twenty years ago on October 12th, 1998.

He was one of two sons born to his mother Judy and his father Dennis, along with his younger brother Logan.

He was a student at the University of Wyoming. He loved politics and traveling.

He was a slight kid, measuring only 5'3" tall and weighing not much more than 100 pounds. Matthew was gay.

Just after midnight on one cold night in early October, Matthew met Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson at the Fireside Lounge in Laramie, Wyoming. Under the guise of giving Matthew a ride home, the two men, also both in their early twenties, drove Matthew to a ranch in a remote area outside of Laramie.

It was in this secluded setting on the outskirts of town where McKinney and Henderson brutally pistol whipped Matthew and beat him savagely. They delivered repeated blows to Matthew's head, which fractured his skull in multiple places and left more than a dozen lacerations on his face and neck. The two men pummeled Matthew so badly that his brain was no longer able to regulate his heart rate, body temperature, or other vital functions.

The fence.

And when they were finished ruining this young man, McKinney and Henderson took his wallet and shoes, tied him to a fence, and left him to die alone in the near freezing darkness of a cold Wyoming night.

Eighteen hours later, Matthew was discovered by a cyclist who found him tied to the fence, and who at first, believed him to be a scarecrow. Matthew was taken to the hospital where his injuries were deemed too severe for doctors to operate. He survived a few days in intensive care, never regaining consciousness, and having no chance to say goodbye to his mother, father or brother, before he was pronounced dead at 12:53 a.m. on October 12.

The world has changed dramatically in the twenty years since Matthew's murder.
 

Turn of Phrase - The NFL Finally Comes Out

Kluwe, Ayanbadejo, and Burns

"I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful c*ckmonster.

They won’t overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children.

You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else..."

- From Chris Kluwe, punter for the Minnesota Vikings, in a letter he wrote to Maryland state delegate Emmett Burns, after Burns recommended the coercion and censoring of pro-LGBT Baltimore Ravens player Brendon Ayanbadejo.

Although the full story has been widely reported and Kluwe's letter has gone insanely viral online, it warrants additional discussion here nonetheless. 

For those of you who missed it somehow, here's the play in three acts. 

1. Baltimore Ravens player Brendon Ayanbadejo is a strong and vocal supporter of a November ballot initiative in the state of Maryland that would recognize same-sex marriage. 
2. A Baltimore County delegate, Emmett Burns Jr., is mortified by Ayanbadejo's public support of the measure. Burns sent a letter to the Ravens owner expressing his displeasure with Ayanbadejo and insisting the player be pressured to "cease and desist such injurious actions." 
3. Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, also an advocate for same-sex marriage, delivered a public and verbally brutal beatdown to Burns, in his very direct and powerful open letter. 

The online reaction to Kluwe's letter has been overwhelmingly positive, and LGBT rights groups are understandably thrilled to have both Ayanbadejo and Kluwe weigh-in so forcefully in favor of marriage equality.

The significance of the actions of these bold NFL players cannot be understated.

Making Sense of the Chick-Fil-A Debacle

Call me naïve, but I don't believe the vast majority of people who work for or dine at Chick-Fil-A restaurants actually hate gays and lesbians.

I would argue instead that most members of the right-wing crowd, particularly those who rushed in this week to eat a deep-fried chicken sandwich in support of Chick-Fil-A and traditional marriage, simply don’t understand gayness. And maybe, they even fear it.

Many “family values” supporters earnestly believe that the normalization of gayness in our society somehow threatens their way of life, and so those individuals see their motivation in supporting Chick-Fil-A as protection, not hate. 

A natural by-product of these conservative efforts to defend Judeo-Christian values from perceived attack is the necessary discrimination between hetero and homosexuality. If conservatives believe their biblical interpretation of family values and marriage is right, then any other way must be “wrong.” And who doesn’t like to stand up for what they believe is right?

This is where the problem begins. What is the real value in standing up for religion when doing so genuinely damages other human beings? How does it further the cause of Christ, or even the cause of humanity, when our actions harm others?

I am a grown gay man who has been out to my family and friends for more than two decades. At nearly fifty years old, I know who I am and what my life is worth. But there are many, many gay people who are younger than me, still coming-of-age, still learning about life, still so very impressionable – because they are children. These people, these kids, are the ones who pay the price for the “Godly values” espoused by others, and in far too many instances they pay with their lives.

As a mature fairly self-actualized gay man, whether or not Chick-Fil-A customers believe I am an equal and worthwhile human being has little impact on my emotional well being.

For vulnerable young gay people though, this isn’t so.

Young women and men who grow up confused and frightened by who they are, find the world around them offering not a helping hand, but a punch in the stomach. Young people who live in the shadows, whose very existence brims with doubt, are offered not the light of Christianity, but the dark aloneness of dismissal and rejection. Young people who search, yearn, and beg for understanding, suffer instead the destructive sting of judgment. Young men and women, and sometimes boys and girls, are told by their families and their churches – you are not the same, you are not enough, you are not right.

I don't believe it is the intent of my Christian friends to do devastating emotional injury to children. I know that they are simply working to preserve the way of life that they hold dear and striving to defend their biblical values. Nonetheless, the reactionary public outcry in favor of Chick-Fil-A (and against gay marriage) ultimately reinforces the feelings of isolation and worthlessness that afflict fragile young gay people.

Risking Their Lives for Gay Pride In Uganda

Ugandan LGBT activists

Being gay is a criminal offense in Uganda, and if the Anti-Homosexuality Bill proposed by politician David Bahati passes the Ugandan parliament, then gays would face life in prison for homosexual activity, and the death penalty for acts of "aggravated homosexuality.

The international human rights community has exerted enormous pressure on Uganda in opposition to Bahati's bill, which has languished in parliament since 2009.

Nonetheless, being gay in Uganda, or being supportive of gays and lesbians, continues to be incredibly dangerous and even life-threatening.

In light of the immense anti-gay hostility in Uganda, this is the last place on earth one would expect to find a gay pride celebration, and yet last weekend, it happened.

About two hundred brave Ugandans, gay and gay-friendly, gathered to affirm their LGBT identities and celebrate life. The Pride festivities, which included film screenings and a parade, went off as planned for the most part, though police did raid one gathering to make a few arrests, take names and statements from attendees, and intimidate the crowd.

A few images from the Ugandan LGBT pride parade are included below (photos: David Robinson c/o Advocate). You can learn more about LGBT rights in Uganda in a short BBC documentary linked here (part one) and here (part two).

Facing risks of ridicule, arrest, and personal safety, LGBT Ugandans marched proudly. This is what real bravery looks like.

Turn Style - Female Saudi Olympians Debut

For the first time in modern history, Saudi Arabia has allowed women to represent their nation at the Olympic Games.

Sarah Attar ran the 800 meter race in track and field, and Wojdan Shaherkani represented the Saudi kingdom in women's judo competition.

The 19 year-old Attar, who ran her race completely clad from head to toe, finished last, but received a standing ovation as she crossed the finish line.

Photo: Daniel Ocho De Olza / AP

Shaherkani, who is just 16 years old, only lasted 82 seconds in her judo match, but she proudly made history, nonetheless. 

Photo: Chang W. Lee / New York Times

Reflecting on the praiseworthy accomplishments of these two women stirs up contradictory emotions. It is gratifying to see that a nation as fundamentalist as Saudi Arabia is at least beginning to move in the direction of women's rights, but it is simultaneously horrifying to imagine a place where half the human population still lacks the right to vote or even drive a car.

Imagine living in a land where religious traditionalists can deny even the most basic of human rights to a particular sect of the population, simply because of who they were born to be? Which reminds me, anyone visited Chick-Fil-A lately?

Top Tweets - Breaking Up With Chick-Fil-A

I love Chick-Fil-A sandwiches so much it's sinful.

Not like you love your spouse, and not the way you love your friends or family. I mean...it's more than that.

I'm talking about an intense fiery burning love. A deep unfathomable love, the kind of love that literally grafts itself on to your heart. Immaculate, unshakeable, preternatural love. 

I love Chick-Fil-A sandwiches like Westboro Baptist loves hate, like Kardashians love the NBA, like Rush Limbaugh loves the sound of his own voice.

I love those buttery buns and peppery chicken filets (and on occasion those fried-to-perfection 12-piece nuggets with honey mustard dipping sauce) so much it hurts. Like kittens love catnip, like flowers love rain, like God so loved the world. That's how much.

And that's why breaking up with Chick-Fil-A is hard to do (congrats Neil Sedaka - you were right).

In light of remarks made by Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy this week, I can no longer stick my head in the sand. I must acknowledge that some of the money I spend at Chick-Fil-A supports people and organizations who believe I am less.

I must say goodbye, Chick-Fil-A. So long my beautiful sandwich, I'll miss you.

In these first difficult days after my split from Chick-Fil-A, I know Twitter will be there to comfort me and make me smile. Here are a few favorite Tweets so far.

Top Tweets About the Boy Scouts Ban on Gays

In a prior post, I shared news of the Boy Scouts of America's decision to continue its shameful ban on participation by gay scouts and scoutmasters.

It's important that the Boy Scouts organization begins to understand how outdated and wrong-headed their bigoted policy is. To that end, the Twitterverse launched a full-frontal attack on the BSA with all the verve and creativity we've come to expect.

Here are a few of my favorite Boy Scout Tweets, which I selected mostly for boldness of message or cleverness of irony. (Please know, I'm not trivializing the BSA's decision - I'm calling attention to it and recognizing good humor!)

Boy Scouts Reaffirm Their Ban on Gays

Boy Scouts of America Logo

After a two-year review of their policy banning gay scouts and gay scout leaders, the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) has decided to let the ban stand.

In announcing the decision, Boy Scouts chief executive Bob Mazzuca said, "The vast majority of the parents of youth we serve value their right to address issues of same-sex orientation within their family, with spiritual advisers and at the appropriate time and in the right setting."

The ban was previously challenged and upheld more than a decade ago in a Supreme Court case, wherein a gay scoutmaster had been fired from the organization because of his sexual orientation. 

In its June 2000 decision, the Court ruled that the Boy Scouts of America, as a private organization which exists in part to express a particular message, has a constitutional right to freedom of association. This freedom allows the organization to exclude members when "the presence of that person affects in a significant way the group's ability to advocate public or private viewpoints."

The most unfortunate aspect of the BSA's affirmation of its anti-gay policy is that this American "institution" is sending a message to innocent gay kids that says - you are different, you are wrong, you are less. 

The Scouts have a legal right to say those things, and happily, the rest of us have rights too...and responsibilities. 

- It's up to each of us to teach our kids to be tolerant and open-minded. 

- It's up to each of us to vigorously challenge notions of bias and hate. 

- And most importantly, it's up to each of us to make sure the gay kids in our families and neighborhoods hear messages of love and acceptance.

The Boy Scouts of America has made its negative and hateful position known. We must each send our positive message of support for gay and lesbian kids even louder and more clearly.

Turn of Phrase - Russell Simmons Steps Up As R&B Star Frank Ocean Comes Out

R&B singer Frank Ocean

"I am profoundly moved by the courage and honesty of Frank Ocean. 

Your decision to go public about your sexual orientation gives hope and light to so many young people still living in fear."

- From entertainment mogul and entrepreneur Russell Simmons, in response to the immensely personal and profound coming out Tumblr post of rising R&B music star Frank Ocean. 

Like CNN's Anderson Cooper who made a not-so-surprising announcement about his sexuality earlier this week, Frank Ocean shared the story of his sexual identity through a very low-key internet post. The 24 year-old Ocean began his online letter simply and beautifully:

"Whoever you are, wherever you are...I'm starting to think we're a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to."

And then he went on to tell the story of his first true love, who, even to Ocean's surprise it seemed, happened to be a man.

As with Anderson Cooper, Frank Ocean's personal revelation brings with it the potential for significant career damage. If Cooper's concerns about his privacy and perceived objectivity were great, Ocean's worries about perceptions of his masculinity must surely have been even greater. 

The success of a male R&B singer is driven largely by the performer's ability to sell his primal sensuality. Add to that the notion that the R&B/Rap music scene has been regularly unfriendly to the gay community, and the immense degree of courage and boldness of Ocean's coming out becomes even more apparent.

It was partly these unfortunate soul music industry realities that motivated the legendary Russell Simmons to step up and extol the virtue of Ocean's actions. In addition to praising Ocean's honesty and courage, Simmons challenged the entire R&B/Rap community:

"Today is a big day for hip-hop. It is a day that will define who we really are. How compassionate will we be? How loving can we be? How inclusive are we?"

Those are big important questions, and with the release of Ocean's debut album "Channel Orange" on July 17, we'll have our answers soon enough.

Turn of Phrase - Anderson Cooper Comes Out Officially and Quietly

CNN journalist Anderson Cooper

"I’ve also been reminded recently that while as a society we are moving toward greater inclusion and equality for all people, the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. 

There continue to be far too many incidences of bullying of young people, as well as discrimination and violence against people of all ages, based on their sexual orientation, and I believe there is value in making clear where I stand."

- From CNN News anchor Anderson Cooper, explaining his decision to openly discuss his gayness. Cooper shared the truth about his sexual orientation in a low-key manner, through a classy and eloquent email he wrote to journalist and blogger Andrew Sullivan.

The decision to come out must have been incredibly difficult for Cooper. While he is personally comfortable as a gay man, in his letter he discusses his fear of losing the last shreds of his privacy and his concern over having his professional objectivity called into question. Clearly though, his sense of personal responsibility to the causes of young gay people, marriage equality, and society in general outweighed his concerns about coming out. 

Coming out is hard. Each of us who eventually reaches the decision to share the truth about our sexual orientation has fought our personal demons, fears, and doubts along the way. 

But it's incredibly important that those of us who can come out, do come out. Gay people, especially younger folks, need good role models, and straight people benefit from seeing that gay people are not so different. 

The world needs more Anderson Coopers.

Defense of Marriage Act Is Struck Down, Kinda

Photo: Reuters / David McNew

A Boston-based federal appeals court has declared that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional.

The three-judge panel, two of whom are Republican appointees, supported a lower court ruling that struck down part of DOMA in 2010.

Before my gay friends rush to their local courthouse for marriage licenses (and before my gay-friendly friends order those wedding gifts), you must look a little closer at the court's decision. This ruling doesn't legalize same sex marriage, it simply declares that the 1996 law enacted by Congress (and signed by President Clinton) defining marriage as a union "between one man and one woman" is not consistent with the U.S. Constitution. 

This is good news, for sure, but the rationale behind the ruling is a bit troubling. Here is the most salient segment of the court's decision.

"[M]any Americans believe that marriage is the union of a man and a woman, and most Americans live in states where that is the law today. One virtue of federalism is that it permits diversity of governance based on local choice...this applies as well to the states that have chosen to legalize same-sex marriage."

In essence, the Court of Appeals declared DOMA to be unconstitutional, not on the grounds that it unfairly discriminates against gays and lesbians, but because it violates the Tenth Amendment of the Constitution, which guarantees individual states the right to determine legal questions, when the issues involved are not expressly within the jurisdiction of the federal government. 

In other words, today's ruling is a big step forward, but the logic used to declare DOMA unconstitutional relates to the protection of the basic rights of states in our federal system, not to the fundamental equality of gay and lesbians citizens.

For now, each individual state still gets to decide whether it will allow same-sex couples to marry, which is very likely the same ruling justices on the Supreme Court will make when this issue finally reaches them. In the end, I don't disagree with gay journalist Andrew Sullivan who believes the "federalist" strategy that allows each state to legislate same-sex marriage may ultimately be the best approach.

Still a Boy Is Dead

By Jeff McKown

No one was murdered.
No physical violence was inflicted.
No weapons were used, save for a webcam.
Still, a boy is dead.

No one was shot.
No punches were thrown.
No deadly intent or premeditation, save for humiliation.
Still, a boy is dead.

No battle was waged.
No crimes of war committed.
No declarations or gauntlets thrown down, save for harmless taunting.
Still, a boy is dead.

No one was there.
No last minute plea was made.
No way out, save for the cold water below.
And now, a boy is dead.



Related Posts:
The Sad Death and Short Life of Tyler Clementi
Jury Reached Verdict In Webcam Bullying Trial
Dharun Ravi Receives 30-Day Jail Sentence

Dharun Ravi Receives 30-Day Jail Sentence In Tyler Clementi Webcam Case

Clementi and Ravi

Former Rutgers student Dharun Ravi was sentenced today to 30 days in jail, 300 hours of community service, and 3 years of probation for using a webcam to illegally spy on his college roommate having sex.

Ravi was also penalized with a stiff fine, as he was ordered to make a payment of $10,000 to a community-based organization that assists victims of bias crimes.

This seems reasonable, harsh even, until you consider that the roommate involved in the incident, Tyler Clementi, was a vulnerable 18 year-old boy grappling to come to terms with his homosexuality. Clementi, who was mortally embarrassed by the webcam spying, jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge a few days later.

In March, Ravi was found guilty of bias intimidation and invasion of privacy, crimes which carried up to a ten-year prison sentence. After his conviction, a great deal of debate ensued about how much responsibility, legal or otherwise, Ravi should shoulder for the death of Clementi. Ravi's actions did, in all likelihood, lead to Clementi's decision to kill himself in September 2010, but the Rutgers student had no other direct involvement in the suicide.

Many followers of the trial, including some gay rights advocates, believed that imposing the full ten-year sentence would be unduly harsh.

Jane Lynch Guest Hosting On Maddow Show

What do you call it when two lesbians appear on television to discuss politics? MSNBC. More specifically, The Rachel Maddow Show.

I wouldn't normally share a 10-minute video, but this clip was utterly enjoyable from start to finish. First, Lynch guest anchors the show's "Best New Thing In the World" segment (and does an admirable job), and then Maddow joins the set for a two-woman roundtable conversation about politics.

The discussion includes their reactions to President Obama's same-sex marriage announcement, the value of coming out, and the importance of never underestimating the dorky kids in high school.

The banter is so genuine and personal that it almost feels like you're spying on Maddow and Lynch enjoying a coffee together. All-in-all, a refreshing moment for 24-hour news channel programming.

Obama Supports Marriage Equality for Me

Thank you, Mr. President. Not just for supporting my right to marry, but for acknowledging the okay-ness of who I am.

Turn of Phrase - Gay Spokesman Quits Romney Campaign

Richard Grenell - Romney Aide
Photo: Stephen Hilger/Bloomberg

"I want to thank Governor Romney for his belief in me and my abilities and his clear message to me that being openly gay was a non-issue for him and his team."

- From Richard Grenell, openly gay Foreign Policy and National Security Spokesman for the Romney campaign. 

Grenell resigned Tuesday after significant pressure from socially conservative Republicans made it impossible for him to do his job.

The Romney campaign aide went out of his way to point out that his gayness was not an issue for Romney or the campaign staff. It's unfortunate that the rest of the Republican party couldn't leave Grenell's personal sexual orientation out of his professional life.