Turn of Phrase - Neil Gaiman on Writing

Posted By: Jeff McKown

Linderhof Palace in Germany

"You put one word after another, like putting bricks on to a wall, and sooner or later, you look and you've managed to build the palace of mad King Ludwig of Bavaria out of matchsticks."

~ From acclaimed English Sci-Fi and Fantasy author Neil Gaiman.


Anyone who writes fiction knows how daunting the task is, and it's helpful to read encouraging words from those who have already climbed the mountain.

Flavorwire assembled short videos with advice for aspiring writers from Gaiman and 11 other famous authors. You can see the Gaiman video, as well as clips from Ray Bradbury, Anne Rice, Ian McEwan and more here.

Turn of Phrase - An Open Coffin in Newtown

Noah Pozner, age 6
Died, Sandy Hook, CT

"If there is ever a piece of legislation that comes across his desk, I needed it to be real for him."

- From Veronique Pozner, who escorted the governor of Connecticut to view her six year-old son Noah's casket, which she insisted remain open at his funeral. 

Noah was riddled with 11 bullets during the Sandy Hook school shooting in December. Inside his coffin, the boy's face was covered with a cloth. "There's was no mouth left," his mother said. "His jaw was blown away."

What a devastating reminder of all that is truly at stake behind the gun rights' argument. A mother's love is a powerful tool.

Turn of Phrase - Federer Receives Death Threat

"On October 6, I plan to assassinate Federer for the purpose of tennis extermination." 

- From a threatening message posted on baidu.com under the name Blue Cat Polytheistic Religion Founder 07. 

The message, which was published on a popular Chinese website, was accompanied by an image showing a decapitated Roger Federer on his knees on a tennis court, with a masked executioner holding an axe next to him.

Federer and his family recently arrived in China in advance of the Shanghai Masters tennis event. In light of the threat, tournament organizers have stepped up security around Federer, as well as other players. 

Why anyone would want to assassinate Roger Federer, a gracious and well-liked international tennis star who is essentially a-political and non-controversial, is beyond me. I have to assume there is some heavy-duty lunacy afoot in China.

Turn of Phrase - McCain Schools Sean Hannity on Foreign Policy

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

"It was you and people on Fox that said in Libya, 'We didn't know who they were and let's not help these people.'

They had an election and they elected moderates. They rejected Islamists. 

And yes, there are al-Qaeda factors and there are extremists in Libya today, but the Libyan people are friends of ours, and they support us, and they support democracy.

So you were wrong about -- so you were wrong about Libya."

- From Senator John McCain, during an interview Thursday with Fox News host Sean Hannity. After Hannity bragged about his perceived correctness in predicting events in post-revolution Egypt, McCain disputed his "facts" and then set him straight on Libya.

What a pleasure to see McCain, a seasoned politician with a wealth of foreign policy experience, call out a hawkish Fox News simpleton. McCain's comments could also serve as a valuable reminder to his party's presidential nominee that conducting world affairs in the 21st century requires "careful calibration," not blowhard nationalistic rhetoric.

You can see the entire exchange (3 mins) below.

Turn of Phrase - Richard Bach In Plane Crash

"Dad described his religion as flying. He's a very avid aviator. It would be terrible if he recovers and can't fly again — this guy needs to fly."

- From James Bach, son of writer Richard Bach.

Bach, the acclaimed author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions, is in serious but stable condition after crashing his private plane last weekend.

My high school guidance counselor turned me on to the work of Richard Bach, and to this day, I consider Illusions to be pivotal in my development as a grown-up human being.

Bach often uses flight as a metaphor for life in his work, and his books are comprised of inspirational and aspirational stories that both challenge and aid us in finding our truest selves. His words show up regularly in some of my all-time favorite Daily Zen quotes on the blog.

Get well, Richard. 

Turn of Phrase - A Mother's Love for a Murderer

Clothing designer
and murderer,
Jeffrey Johnson

"I don’t blame police in New York for shooting my son because he killed somebody, but for me, he hasn’t changed. 

He’s still the kindhearted, caring person who loved all kinds of animals and I’m sure he loved us. 

You know a mother always tries to look for the best in you."

- From the mother of Jeffrey Johnson, after learning her son murdered a co-worker last week in midtown Manhattan. In a subsequent showdown with police, Johnson was shot and killed on the sidewalk in front of the Empire State Building.

So many people were physically or emotionally injured or destroyed in this single incident - Steven Ercolino (the 41 year-old murder victim), his grieving family, the 9 pedestrians who all survived but were hit by stray bullets during the shootout, the police officers who were involved, and of course Jeffrey Johnson.

There's so much more to a news story than we get in the headlines and initial reporting. In America, our attention span is short and we move on quickly to the next big thing, seldom taking time to consider the enormous ripple effect of events like this. For me, Jeffrey Johnson's mother provides a poignant reminder.

Turn of Phrase - Ebert's Thumbs Up to Obama

Roger Ebert, film critic
Photo: HuffingtonPost.com

"We need health care in this country. I suspect many of those opposed to it have never had to go through a health ordeal like mine. 

They may think they are well off and can handle their own expenses. They have no idea."

- From a short essay by Roger Ebert, movie critic and cancer survivor.

Ebert and other like-minded pop culture liberals (musician Paul Simon, comedian Patton Oswalt, author Lemony Snicket, etc.) are participating in an online endeavor called 90 Days, 90 Reasons, which is the brainchild of writer Dave Eggers and entertainment agent Jordan Kurland.

The goal of the 90 Days project is to "restart the fire" around the Obama campaign. Through a series of short essays written by various pop culture figures, one per day in the 90 days leading up to the election, the project highlights 90 reasons President Obama deserves a second term in office.

Turn of Phrase - No Parole for Lennon's Killer

Mark David Chapman
Photo: Reuters / NYCPD

"Despite your positive efforts while incarcerated, your release at this time would greatly undermine respect for the law and tend to trivialize the tragic loss of life which you caused as a result of this heinous, unprovoked, violent, cold and calculated crime."

- From Sally Thompson, deciding member at the parole board hearing of convicted murderer Mark David Chapman.

Thirty-two years ago Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon, shooting him four times in the back outside the musician's New York City apartment. The state's Department of Corrections has just announced that Chapman, who was sentenced 20 years to life, has been denied parole a seventh consecutive time.

What if John Lennon had lived? Just imagine.

Turn of Phrase - A Purposeful President and His Policy-Free Opponent

"Has there ever been a campaign with so few major plans on the table?

President Obama’s proposals are small and medium-size retreads, while Mitt Romney has run the closest thing to a policy-free race as any candidate in my lifetime."

- From conservative writer David Brooks, in a recent column in which he asserted that the 2012 presidential election has the potential to be the dullest ever.

I completely agree with Brooks' characterization of the election as monotonous and uninteresting, and in fact, made a similar observation in a post I wrote a couple of months ago (Will 2012 Be Our Most Boring Election Ever?). In that article, my estimation of a thoroughly lackluster campaign was dead on, although my assumption that the candidates would conduct themselves with "refreshing" civility has proven incorrect.

We were all taught in childhood that if we had nothing nice to say, then we should say nothing at all. If our two presidential candidates followed that adage, we'd have not only the most boring, but also the quietest election in U.S. history.

Turn of Phrase - Brits Respond to Romney's Olympic Insult

Romney and Cameron
Photo: Charles Dharapak / AP

"We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere."

- British P.M. David Cameron, gently reminding Mitt Romney that hosting the Olympics in London is a far more complex venture than hosting in Salt Lake City.

Cameron, and for that matter the rest of the British, were appropriately pissed when Romney, who is visiting Great Britain this week, attempted to show off his Olympics executive "expertise," telling NBC's Brian Williams that he had seen "a few things that were disconcerting" with regard to London's preparedness. 

We all know how challenging it can be navigating the treacherous and uncertain waters of American-British foreign policy. If Mitt handles a long-term ally like the U.K. with this much aplomb, I can only imagine how well he would manage relations with China or Russia.

Turn of Phrase - The Real John McCain Returns

Senator John McCain, (R - AZ)
Photo: Johannes Simon / Getty

"What makes America exceptional among the countries of the world is that we are bound together as citizens not by blood or class, not by sect or ethnicity, but by a set of enduring, universal, and equal rights that are the foundation of our constitution, our laws, our citizenry, and our identity.

When anyone, not least a member of Congress, launches specious and degrading attacks against fellow Americans on the basis of nothing more than fear of who they are and ignorance of what they stand for, it defames the spirit of our nation, and we all grow poorer because of it."

- From Senator John McCain, in his eloquent defense of Huma Abedin, Sec. of State Clinton's Deputy Chief of Staff, who faces unsupported allegations that she used her position to exert a pro-Islamist influence over American foreign policy.

In remarks he made on the floor of the U.S. Senate, McCain completely dismissed a letter composed by Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann and four other Congressmen, in which the lawmakers questioned Abedin's loyalty and alleged she has ties to the Muslim Brotherhood organization.

McCain's speech, which you can view a clip of on Politico, is refreshing on two levels.

Turn of Phrase - Louis Freeh's Report and the Paterno Family Statement

Louis Freeh

"In order to avoid the consequences of bad publicity, the most powerful leaders at the university -- Spanier, Schultz, Paterno and Curley -- repeatedly concealed critical facts relating to Sandusky's child abuse."

- From Louis Freeh's damning investigative report on Penn State's handling of Jerry Sandusky sex abuse allegations as far back as 1998.

Freeh's investigation was extremely comprehensive. In their search for the truth, Freeh and his team interviewed more than 400 witnesses and reviewed 3 million documents. 

Upon the release of Freeh's 267-page report, the family of Joe Paterno released a statement of their own. The following text is a portion of that statement.

"It can be argued that Joe Paterno should have gone further. He should have pushed his superiors to see that they were doing their jobs. We accept this criticism. 

At the same time, Joe Paterno and everyone else knew that Sandusky had been repeatedly investigated by authorities who approved his multiple adoptions and foster children. Joe Paterno mistakenly believed that investigators, law enforcement officials, University leaders and others would properly and fully investigate any issue and proceed as the facts dictated.

This didn't happen and everyone shares the responsibility."

Turn of Phrase - What Not to Yell When a Great White Shark Is Chasing Someone Nearby

A great white shark trailing a kayaker 150 yards
off the coast of Cape Cod on Saturday.

"I didn't want to just yell, 'Shark, shark,' and scare people. But when I saw the fin following the kayaker, I began yelling and waving my paddle."

- From experienced surfer and paddle-boarder Dana Richardson, who initially hoped to avoid terrifying beachgoers when he spotted a 14-foot great white shark trailing close behind a nearby kayaker off the coast of Cape Cod. 

Here are ten other things that wouldn't be helpful to yell when a great white shark is chasing someone nearby.

1. Don't worry. He's more afraid of you than you are of him!
2. You distract him. I'll go for help!
3. Just back away slowly!
4. Try paddling in a zig-zag pattern!
5. Good news - studies show humans are more dangerous to great whites than they are to us!
6. Spread your arms and try to look large!
7. Holy shit! That's a keeper!
8. Whatever you do, don't make eye contact!
9. I think you're going to need a bigger boat!
10. Best of luck, buddy!

FYI - According to CBS News (clip below), on the same day as the Cape Cod shark sighting, a great white took a bite out of a kayak near Santa Cruz, CA. Personally, I'm thinking conspiracy.

Turn of Phrase - Russell Simmons Steps Up As R&B Star Frank Ocean Comes Out

R&B singer Frank Ocean

"I am profoundly moved by the courage and honesty of Frank Ocean. 

Your decision to go public about your sexual orientation gives hope and light to so many young people still living in fear."

- From entertainment mogul and entrepreneur Russell Simmons, in response to the immensely personal and profound coming out Tumblr post of rising R&B music star Frank Ocean. 

Like CNN's Anderson Cooper who made a not-so-surprising announcement about his sexuality earlier this week, Frank Ocean shared the story of his sexual identity through a very low-key internet post. The 24 year-old Ocean began his online letter simply and beautifully:

"Whoever you are, wherever you are...I'm starting to think we're a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to."

And then he went on to tell the story of his first true love, who, even to Ocean's surprise it seemed, happened to be a man.

As with Anderson Cooper, Frank Ocean's personal revelation brings with it the potential for significant career damage. If Cooper's concerns about his privacy and perceived objectivity were great, Ocean's worries about perceptions of his masculinity must surely have been even greater. 

The success of a male R&B singer is driven largely by the performer's ability to sell his primal sensuality. Add to that the notion that the R&B/Rap music scene has been regularly unfriendly to the gay community, and the immense degree of courage and boldness of Ocean's coming out becomes even more apparent.

It was partly these unfortunate soul music industry realities that motivated the legendary Russell Simmons to step up and extol the virtue of Ocean's actions. In addition to praising Ocean's honesty and courage, Simmons challenged the entire R&B/Rap community:

"Today is a big day for hip-hop. It is a day that will define who we really are. How compassionate will we be? How loving can we be? How inclusive are we?"

Those are big important questions, and with the release of Ocean's debut album "Channel Orange" on July 17, we'll have our answers soon enough.

Turn of Phrase - Anderson Cooper Comes Out Officially and Quietly

CNN journalist Anderson Cooper

"I’ve also been reminded recently that while as a society we are moving toward greater inclusion and equality for all people, the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. 

There continue to be far too many incidences of bullying of young people, as well as discrimination and violence against people of all ages, based on their sexual orientation, and I believe there is value in making clear where I stand."

- From CNN News anchor Anderson Cooper, explaining his decision to openly discuss his gayness. Cooper shared the truth about his sexual orientation in a low-key manner, through a classy and eloquent email he wrote to journalist and blogger Andrew Sullivan.

The decision to come out must have been incredibly difficult for Cooper. While he is personally comfortable as a gay man, in his letter he discusses his fear of losing the last shreds of his privacy and his concern over having his professional objectivity called into question. Clearly though, his sense of personal responsibility to the causes of young gay people, marriage equality, and society in general outweighed his concerns about coming out. 

Coming out is hard. Each of us who eventually reaches the decision to share the truth about our sexual orientation has fought our personal demons, fears, and doubts along the way. 

But it's incredibly important that those of us who can come out, do come out. Gay people, especially younger folks, need good role models, and straight people benefit from seeing that gay people are not so different. 

The world needs more Anderson Coopers.

Turn of Phrase - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Is Pissing Me Off

"They want chaos. They want a larger voting base as far as I’m concerned and they want the illegal immigration to continue. 

Now they’ll have all the illegals and they can all do whatever they want and register to vote. Although it’s illegal if you’re not a citizen to register. But they’re not enforcing the law so what is going to happen to them? He’s looking for votes."

- From Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, in remarks she made about President Obama on the same day the Supreme Court struck down three of the four provisions of Arizona's contentious immigration legislation (SB1070). Incidentally, the Court upheld the most controversial element of the law, the "show me your papers" component.

Is it just me or has Governor Brewer become more brazen in her blatantly disrespectful treatment of Barack Obama, the duly elected President of these United States? 

Remember this picture of Brewer wagging her finger in President Obama's face like he's a little league umpire who just called her kid out on strikes?

Brewer attempting to call down the President
on the tarmac during his visit to Arizona.
Photo: AP

Civility and graciousness in political discussions should be a universal goal, and between elected professionals who must work together to govern our nation, it should be mandatory. 

That is not to say that Bill Maher who is a comedian, not a politician, can't say mean funny things about Sarah Palin, or that Rush Limbaugh, who is a rhetorical masturbator - but not a politician, can't give a clever nickname to Nancy Pelosi. 

Elected politicians, though, should be more thoughtful in choosing their words, particularly those governors who are prone to running off at the mouth and making public allegations that imply illegal activity on the part of other politicians - and especially, when the other politician holds the title PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

Governor Brewer's repeated disrespect for President Obama really pushes my buttons - but I feel that may be obvious by now?

As I said though, we should all strive to be more tactful and courteous in our political discourse. That's why I decided on the headline above, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Is Pissing Me Off, instead of these alternate titles that I briefly considered for this post, but ultimately rejected. 

Jan Brewer - Who the Fuck Do You Think You Are?

Would Someone Please Have Sex With Arizona Governor Jan Brewer?

Governor Jan Brewer - Disrespecting President Obama Almost As Much As She Disrespects Hispanic-Americans

Sorry Arizona, I Guess Stupid Bitchville Already Had a Governor

Hey Asshole, Even Fox News Is Starting to Think You're an Idiot (see)

I don't know, those seem kind of harsh, but in retrospect, I'm still not sure I chose the best headline.

Turn of Phrase - Romney's Pathetic Non-Answer On Immigration

Romney at Hispanic Leadership
Network lunch on Friday
Photo: Charles Dharapak /AP

"Some people have asked if I will let stand the president's executive action. 

The answer is that I will put in place my own long-term solution that will replace and supersede the president's temporary measure. 

As president, I won't settle for a stop-gap measure. I will work with Republicans and Democrats to find a long-term solution."

- From Mitt Romney, in response to President Obama's bold unilateral decision to change to U.S. immigration policy. Last Friday, the President issued an executive order stating the U.S. would no longer pursue deportation of young illegal immigrants who were brought into the country as children.

No one expects Romney to solve anything - he's a candidate, not the President. Nonetheless, his empty rhetoric and vague promises continue to disappoint. Dude, just tell us what you think!

Romney's address to the Hispanic Leadership Network today in Florida provided him with the perfect opportunity to rebut Obama's action and outline specifics of his own plan for addressing the immigration challenge (and if he has no plan, he could still give Americans some idea of what he thinks would be fair).

Instead, Romney gives us more waffly non-answers and another mouthful of partisan criticism of President Obama, who at least took a substantive policy position, decided on important first steps, and implemented them.

Did you read about Romney's new economic approach?

Turn of Phrase - New Lance Armstrong Doping Charges

Photo: Marcio Jose Sanchez / AP

"I have never doped, and, unlike many of my accusers, I have competed as an endurance athlete for 25 years with no spike in performance, passed more than 500 drug tests and never failed one."

- From seven-time Tour de France cycling champion Lance Armstrong, who faces a fresh round of doping allegations from the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency.

Interestingly, Armstrong retired from cycling last year, but if found guilty, he could be stripped of all his previous cycling victories. The USADA accusations also prohibit Armstrong from participating in triathlons, a sport in which he currently competes.

Armstrong continues to declare his total innocence, claiming the USADA is pursuing him vengefully and spitefully.

I don't know what to believe, but I will say if you've been chasing someone for the better part of a decade (no cycling pun intended) and you haven't caught him yet, and federal prosecutors ended their two-year inquiry in February, and the guy has already retired from your sport, and there's no homicide involved...you might want to think about investing your resources in something else.

Turn of Phrase - Jeb Bush on Bipartisanship, Obama, and the Grover Norquist Tax Pledge

"Back to my dad’s time and Ronald Reagan’s time—they got a lot of stuff done with a lot of bipartisan support that right now would be difficult to imagine happening."

- From former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, lamenting the demise of  bipartisanship in the last 30 years. Bush added that in today's political arena, [Reagan] "would be criticized for doing the things that he did."

"Presidents matter, and this president lost his chance to be a transcendent figure."

- From Jeb Bush, commenting on President Obama's failure to lead meaningfully (and not just rhetorically) on deficit reduction.

Lastly, a video quote from Bush about lobbyist Grover Norquist's ridiculous and gimmicky "Taxpayer Protection Pledge."

I didn't live in Florida for most of Jeb Bush's term as Governor, so I don't have many personal recollections of Jeb's policy positions, his accomplishments, and his mistakes, as many of my Florida friends and readers most assuredly do. 

I'm also not attempting to put Bush on a pedestal, but I will say this - compared to the rest of the GOP these days, Jeb ain't so scary.

Turn of Phrase - Why LeBron Won't Win

LeBron James and Kevin Durant

"At the end of the day in this series I'm going to play my game and try to do whatever it takes on both ends and make plays. 

Whatever the results, I'm going to be satisfied with that. I'm going to be happy with it because I know I'm going to give it my all."

- From LeBron James, as he and his Miami Heat teammates prepare to take on the Oklahoma City Thunder in the NBA Finals. 

LeBron James is arguably the most individually talented basketball player in the NBA. Sure, you can make a legit case for Kobe Bryant or Kevin Durant, both of whom are serious game-changers, but LeBron is the guy we've all been measuring against Michael Jordan for the last decade. And yet, after his first eight years in the NBA, LeBron's giant hands sport no championship rings. 

Here's the problem. LeBron James is willing to put the championship hopes of an entire franchise squarely on his shoulders, because he genuinely believes his singular presence on the court makes that much difference. And truth be told, LeBron is a beast, a monster, an absolute stud, or whatever other cliched athletic superlative you can think of, but he is still just one guy. One of five starters, one of twelve guys on the roster. One guy.  

In the NBA, championships are won by those squads where the five starting players, and the half-dozen or so other guys who come off the bench to support them, work well together as a unit on offense and defense toward the shared goal of ensuring they score more points than the opposition. It's simple - teamwork wins titles.

I respect and believe in LeBron's commitment and work ethic, but in the two-sentence statement at the top of this post, he uses the words "I" and "my" seven times. Basketball is a "we" and "our" sport, and until LeBron genuinely believes that it will take not his personal best, but the collective and coordinated bests of five starters and a group of talented role players, he and his teammates are not likely to win a seven-game NBA Finals series.