10 Feats Mayor Cory Booker Accomplished That Superman Never Even Tried

You've probably heard that yesterday Newark, N.J. Mayor Cory Booker literally ran into a burning building and rescued a young woman.

It's true - as the mayor told the folks at CBS This Morning, he raced into a neighbor's home that was on fire, ran through flames to a second floor bedroom, threw a young woman over his shoulder, and rushed out of the house to safety.

In light of this act of heroism, Booker is being hailed as a superhero by the media. I did some research into Newark's alleged "man of steel," and learned that the mayor does indeed have many remarkable accomplishments, including some deeds that Superman himself lacked the courage and brains to even attempt.

It's true that Superman has saved plenty of people, hundreds or even thousands maybe, from burning buildings. And yes, I know he flew backwards around the Earth to reverse time and stop some pretty traumatic crap from going down.

But...

Here are 10 True and Impressive Cory Booker Feats that Superman never even tried.

1. Played varsity football for Stanford University.
2. Formed a lasting friendship with Rachel Maddow (Booker's Lois Lane?).
3. Received a Rhodes scholarship and attended Oxford University.
4. Earned a J.D. degree from Yale Law School.
5. Elected as Newark mayor; vowed to turnaround America's "worst city." 
6. Achieved a 40% reduction in both murder and shootings in Newark.
7. Named sexiest mayor by Women's Wear Daily.
8. Inspired Facebook CEO Zuckerberg to donate $100 million to schools.
9. Launched Newark's biggest city parks expansion in 100 years.
10. Gave welcoming announcement at Whitney Houston's funeral.

As if all this isn't enough reason to love Cory Booker...

Phoenix Jones - Superhero, Job Creator

This morning I read about a man who was arrested in Seattle for hosing down a group of clubgoers with pepper spray. The daily news is rife with stories of random acts of violence, but this story is special. The pepper spray perpetrator was Benjamin Fodor, aka Phoenix Jones - the most prominent member of the Rain City Superhero Movement.

Phoenix Jones, real life superhero

Phoenix Jones is in Seattle, but real life superheroes are cropping up across America quicker than Wall Street occupiers. I had no idea there were any modern day superheroes, much less a superhero movement, but apparently there is one and it's growing. Witnessing the rise of groups like the Rain City Superheroes, some see a movement, but with my keen mind for business and economics, I see an industry. And where there is industry, there are jobs. To hell with the American Jobs Act. I suggest Congress and White House crank up the full power of the American political machine in support of the new era of the superhero. In doing so, we will rid our streets of those bothersome overly-ambitious clown-faced criminal elements, and more importantly, there will be jobs.

We'll need more superheroes of course. Lots of them. With just a black mask and a matching muscle suit, Phoenix Jones has shown us that the superhero dream is alive and well, and within the grasp of any man or woman who can wield a can of pepper spray. Caped crusaders are the backbone of the superhero business, and this industry can only grow if we foster a wide variety of innovative and entrepreneurial crime-fighters. 

Where there are superheroes, there must be sidekicks. For those who possess a passion for crime fighting but are unsure of their own individual butt-kicking skills, the sidekick role may be perfect. There is plenty of room in this burgeoning new industry for the ride-along type. Everyone can't be in the limelight, right? Someone has to gas up the turbo car and re-stock the utility belts. Let the superhero have the glory - we all know he couldn't do it without a solid sidekick.