When "It Gets Better" Isn't Good Enough

Eric James Borges, dead at 19

Why are some of the gay teens who make It Gets Better videos still killing themselves?

Three days ago 19 year-old gay California teen Eric James Borges ended his life. One month before his death, EricJames, as he liked to be called by his friends, participated in the It Gets Better project. In the five minute video he produced for the program, he paints a vivid picture of the shame and painful rejection he experienced as a gay teen, but by the end of his video, he assures other GLBT youth that their lives will eventually become easier, as they grow and mature, and gain new experience and perspectives.

In September 2011, 14 year-old Jamey Rodemeyer, who was also a bullied and ostracized gay teen, ended his life. Four months prior to his death, Jamey, like EricJames, recorded a video for It Gets Better in which he urges other struggling GLBT kids to be strong, and then convincingly reassures them that their lives, while tough right now, will most assuredly improve over time. 

It's understandable how the current generation of teenage kids are naturally drawn to the internet to connect with others who may understand and empathize with their struggles. It's also logical that kids who have been raised in our age of vast technological interconnectedness use the internet to find solutions to the sometimes seemingly hopeless situations in which they find themselves. 

What is less clear and far more disheartening is that teens like Jamey and EricJames would actually discover many of the programs made available to them, and even participate in using these resources to assist both themselves and others, and then still choose to take their own lives. Somehow, these kids were selfless enough to try and convince others who are suffering that "it gets better," while clearly never really buying into the message themselves.