Thursday, May 10, 2012

10 Best Fictional Tweets In Response To Obama's Gay Marriage Endorsement

Since President Obama's declaration of support for same-sex marriage on Tuesday, a wide of array of reactions have flooded the public airwaves.

In general it goes like this:
- Gay folks are grateful for the affirmation.
   (and nervous about the general election)
- Liberals are proud.
   (and nervous about the general election)
- Conservatives are not surprised.
   (and nervous about the general election)

In light of the ample coverage these real reactions have received, I think it's high time we look at what I imagined people might say.

Here are 10 of the most interesting (fictional) Tweets I read (made up) in response to President Obama's endorsement of gay marriage.
  1. "I hate to say I told you so. No, I don't." - Rick Santorum
  2. "I really don't see what all the fuss is about." - Kim Kardashian
  3. "POTUS said what?" - David Axelrod
  4. "What's next? Legalized marriage between a man and a dog?" - Snoopy
  5. "It's not like you have to marry a guy to have sex with him." - Larry Craig
  6. "Nyah, nyah, nyah." - North Carolina
  7. "This means all four of my marriages meant nothing." - Rush Limbaugh
  8. "That's what I meant when I said I opposed gay marriage." - Mitt Romney
  9. "Is anyone going to finish that sandwich?" - Chris Christie
  10. "Finally, someone actually did what I would do." - Jesus
Okay, so I made all that up, but not this.

According to Bristol Palin, it would have been nice if President Obama had not been so influenced by the thinking of his wife and daughters and had instead...

"...been an actual leader and helped shape [his daughters'] thoughts instead of merely reflecting what teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee."

Good to see Bristol dishing out parenting advice to the President. If anyone knows about raising kids properly, it's a 21 year-old single mom whose baby's father just announced that he and his new pregnant girlfriend will name their baby after an Italian handgun. (Oh yeah, that last sentence is true.)

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