Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Newt Gingrich Can't Quit Because He Thinks Too Much of Himself

Photo: AP/ Jose Luis Magana
Imagine you're running for President of the United States of America.

After almost a full year of campaigning, you've won 2 of the 29 state primary contests, you've spent more cash than you raised, and you've admitted that it is mathematically impossible for you to amass the number of delegates needed to win your party's nomination.

What would you do?

Reasonable human beings would acknowledge that their ideas failed to adequately ignite the passions of voters, and that their campaign lacked the support and structure needed to win. Rational people would graciously step aside, and allow the electoral process to unfold naturally.

Pompous egomaniacal blowhards, however, would apparently take a different tact. They would forge ahead pointlessly, cutting their staff by one-third and reducing their campaign activity, while simultaneously shifting their focus to behind-the-scenes manipulation of the Republican political machine.

Newt Gingrich honestly believes he is one of a handful of politicians who can save America, one of the few who is smart enough, skilled enough, and tough enough to see us through the next four years. He thinks his answers are better than anyone else's, and what's more, he is likely stunned that the rest of us can't see that. Newt cares too darned much about this great nation of ours to let it fail, or so he thinks.

In light of Gingrich's ongoing delusions of grandeur, I think it's time for an intervention. I think it's time for Newt to take someone else's advice, for a change. The time has come for Newt to get a heavy dose of the truth, whether he likes it or not.

The reality is the former House Speaker is delusional and sad. He is an arrogant and egomaniacal man, who in the face of a fair and honest beatdown at the hands of Mitt Romney, is holding out hope against all odds that he can steal the Presidency of the United States. And when his efforts to cheat his way into the White House are unsuccessful, he will secretly wish us all a fast trip to Hell in a handbasket, and pity us for our ignorance in not recognizing him as our own best chance at survival. So be it.

Give it up, Newt. Your time has come and gone long ago, and no one wants to play with you. Pack up your toys and your bloated bag of big ideas, and just go home.


  1. it appears he is hiding his 'bloated bag of big ideas' under his suit coat. ooooh! not nice.