5 Signs "W" Plans to Endorse Romney

Romney and the elder Bushes

George H.W. Bush, our forty-first president, has officially endorsed Mitt Romney as the Republican presidential nominee.

One of the senior Bush's sons, former Florida governor Jeb Bush, made the same announcement last week, but his other political progeny, George W. Bush, a man whose name is uttered in GOP circles these days only slightly less often than Voldemort's name is spoken at Hogwarts, has been silent thus far about which candidate he prefers in 2012.

If you've been eager to find out which contender will be the lucky beneficiary of W's endorsement, your wait is over. I have leveraged my enormous journalistic resources and keen instincts for truth to ferret out the answer. 

Here are 5 recent actions that George W. Bush has taken which are evidence of his plans to endorse Mitt Romney for President. 

1. Hired a web developer to post "Mission Accomplished" banner atop Romney campaign website.

2. Asked the Supreme Court to interrupt primary season and declare Romney the winner.

3. Called Dick Cheney to ask for permission. 

4. Announced plans to finally put an end to torture - by halting televised Republican candidate debates.

5. Nominated Mike "Good job Brownie" Brown to clean up debris scattered by the Gingrich disaster.

Thanks to these Bush family endorsements (and also to delegate math and the absence of any other reasonable candidates) there's virtually no way Mitt can lose the nomination.