Wednesday, February 22, 2012

10 Signs Girl Scouts Are Pro-Abortion, Pro-Gay

State lawmaker Bob Morris (R-Indiana) has unearthed internet evidence proving that the Girl Scouts organization is a radical group that promotes homosexuality and abortion.

While Democrats and others with a modicum of intellect and common sense have discredited Morris' accusation, I believe there may be something to the lawmaker's conclusion.

After a little online digging of my own, I found these damning facts, which I submit are indicative of the Girl Scouts' subversive ultra left-wing, pro-abortion, pro-gay agenda.
  1. Five new controversial cookie flavors added. 
    • Birken-Choc  crunchy outside, chocolatey good inside
    • Fudge Packers  baked in a quaint refurbished 19th century Connecticut farm house
    • Sponge Biscuits  safe, effective, and oh so tasty
    • Thin Men  just like Thin Mints only more judgmental
    • Granola Munch  not just for college girls any more
  2. Neil Patrick Harris and Gloria Steinem deemed honorary Super-Daisies and hired as organizational spokespeople.
  3. Cookie drive supported with new TV ads featuring a k.d. Lang jingle which will air during episodes of Glee.
  4. Food coops, feminist bookstores, and the Cubbyhole on 12th Street added to the acceptable list of volunteering venues.
  5. New Planned Parenthood award - given to any girl who successfully builds a campfire while reciting the legal text of Roe v. Wade. 
  6. Emblem update - American eagle image replaced with Subaru Outback.
  7. New slogan for the annual cookie campaign - "Now with more placenta."
  8. Softball and golf added to camping and backpacking on list of core activities.
  9. New badge created - the Two Girls Tie One Knot badge, currently authorized in only seven U.S. states and Canada.
  10. Fashionable uniform re-design - all flannel, all the time.


  1. damn - I know I could start a fire (#5) but the legal text of Rove v. Wade? soooo hard!

  2. No one ever said being a Girl Scout was going to be easy, Jane.