|Bank of America HQ|
Dear Bank of America,
You are some piece of work.
A month ago I wrote and published our public break-up letter, and now that you realize what you've lost, you're ready to come crawling back. I read that you decided the whole debit card usage fee was a bad idea, so you're willing to give me lots of ways to avoid it.
Pathetic. There was a time when I might have come back for some gimmick like that, but now I know you'll only screw me some other way.
You'll never change. It's these kinds of stunts that made me feel cheap and used when I was with you. I could never give you everything you wanted, and you never cared about what I wanted. You never even asked me. You couldn't maintain a decent banking relationship with Warren Buffet (and everyone knows how willing he is to give it up).
Nice try BOA, but it's too little, too late babe. Besides, I'm actually seeing a couple of credit unions now. It's kind of nice to see banks that aren't out there on every street corner, whoring it up. They aren't as flashy as you; they're kind of like diamonds in the rough. But they seem to appreciate me, and at least they give me a little respect when I come around.
Anyway, good luck finding another guy (that is, if you can find someone you haven't already screwed).
PS: The shape of your corporate headquarters building kind of says it all.