iPhone 4S and the Gospel According to Apple

Mock up iPhone4S

In the beginning, Jobs created iPod.

And iPod was without beauty and not sleek, and no phone calls could be made.

And the evening and morning were the second day.

And the spirit of Jobs moved through the hallways.

And Jobs said let there be backlight, and there was.

And Jobs called unto developers and sayeth, give to me connection. And lo, the iPhone came to be.

And the evening and morning were the third day.

And the iPhone begat iPhone2, who begat iPhone 3, who begat iPhone 3GS, who begat iPhone 4.

And Jobs blessed them all with apps and video and wireless connectivity.

And the evening and morning were the fourth day.

And Jobs sayeth, let the developers bring forth touchscreen that I may use only the tips of my fingers. And Jobs brought forth iTouch and soon iPad1, with screen so broad and bright.

And when iPad1 had no webcam, Jobs created iPad2 so that others may broadcast fruitfully and have dominion over tablets everywhere.

And the evening and morning were the fifth day, and Jobs sayeth behold my successor, a new king shall Cook for all.

And Cook brought forth the iPhone4S and those on earth rejoiced and live blogged. Behold a new OS is born with more speed and power.

And the angels made music in the Cloud. And new tools abounded for browser and camera and mail.

And Jobs saw all that he had created and he said unto them, behold all that I have blessed you with. I have made much, and it is good. Go forth and upgrade.

And the evening and morning were the sixth day. Tomorrow, rest.

UPDATE: iPhone 5 Prototype Goes Missing in SF Bar

The plot thickens. There have been some internet reports that Apple didn't actually lose an iPhone 5 prototype. There are a few more specific details in this SF Chronicle article, which substantiates the original rumor that the prototype was actually lost. The article explains why there was no public police report about the incident - "Police found later that there was no record of the officers' involvement because Apple did not want a report created. As the organization that had lost property, it had that right, [SF Police Chief] Suhr said."

San Francisco Police have been assisting Apple, Inc. with the search for an unidentified item that went missing in a SF bar. While it hasn't been explicitly stated, clues and reports indicate that Apple's lost item is an iPhone 5 prototype. Oddly enough, this is not the first time Apple has had this problem. Rumors are that a previous iPhone prototype had been left at Harry's Hofbrau, a Redwood City cafeteria-style restaurant. For a company that emphasizes so much secrecy around their new technologies, Apple folks seem to have a hard time keeping their phones in their pants.