The Sad Death and Short Life of Tyler Clementi

Tyler Clementi

Tyler Clementi was a gay eighteen year-old freshman at Rutgers University who was struggling to come to grips with his own sexual identity.

Dharun Ravi was Tyler's roommate, who along with his friend Molly Wei, used a hidden webcam to secretly record a dorm room sexual encounter Tyler had with another man.

Upon learning that Dharun and Molly planned to broadcast the video online, Tyler jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge in New York.

Today, nearly a year and a half after the suicide of Tyler Clementi, jury selection begins in the trial of Dharun Ravi, who is charged with bias intimidation, invasion of privacy, and hindering prosecution.

It's natural to be angry at those who bully others, and it's easy to be enraged by the continuing onslaught of gay teen suicides. What's far more difficult is to look closer at the real lives of those young people, who in the face of ultimate desperation, believed that only one path remained for them - and they killed themselves.

For us to honestly grasp what is sacrificed each time a young gay brother or sister believes suicide is the only way out, we must first seek to truly understand who we have lost.

James Clementi has recently published a series of short letters he wrote to his younger brother Tyler. His letters are not easy to read, but they are too important not to read, and they do a beautiful job of helping us fully realize what we all lost on September 22, 2010 - when Tyler jumped off that bridge and drowned in the Hudson River.

The letters from James to Tyler can be found here.



Related Posts: A 14 Year-Old Boy Is Dead, Jamie Hubley - Another Gay Teen Suicide, When "It Gets Better" Isn't Good Enough,

Jamie Hubley - Another Gay Teen Suicide

Jamie Hubley, Ottawa Canada, 1996-2011

I wish I didn't have to write this post, and I'm sorry you have to read it.

I wish I had just finished reading more online about the economy or the rapture or baseball.

I even wish this was another painful follow-up post about Jamey Rodemeyer, the bullied gay teen who committed suicide last month. It's not.

I wish damaged human beings with complex problems received only love and support, instead of bigger and higher hurdles than they already have.

But wishes like these don't come true.

Jamie Hubley was a 15 year-old gay teen from Canada, the son of a city councilor, who committed suicide this past weekend. He was an avid blogger, he was an excellent figure skater, he was passionate about music. He was a boy.

According to the few news reports I have seen, Jamie was a deeply troubled young man who suffered from severe depression. Like Jamey Rodemeyer, he chose to document his sadness online. His Tumblr blog entitled You can't break...When you're already broken is fraught with the kind of uber-dramatic words and images you might expect from a boy who is crying out for help. It is difficult to read and not appropriate for everyone. Jamie did receive help from his parents, doctors, and counselors, but as with Jamey Rodemeyer, the struggle to go on living was simply too great in the end.

In a heart-wrenching written statement, Jamie's father acknowledged the many overwhelming challenges his son faced, and while perhaps not the only reason for Jamie's decision to commit suicide, being bullied as a gay teen was a factor. Jamie's father also said this:

"Over the years I have tried to help a lot of people and I was very proud that my beautiful boy was also learning the joy that comes from helping others. I need time to deal with the pain of not being able to save my precious boy and will speak more on his life and these issues later."

Jamie's father's full statement is eloquent and beautifully written. I hope you'll take a few minutes to read and reflect on it. There is nothing else I can find to say about this.