Will 2012 Be Our Most Boring Election Ever?

GOP voters listening intently.
Photo: Edward Linsmier / Getty

Every four years in American politics one presidential candidate or another is likely to characterize that year’s contest as “the most important election of our lifetime,” and of course that sentiment is, almost always, untrue.

Nonetheless, self-important politicians imagine that the world events and domestic issues with which they must wrangle are the most grievous in history, or at least that's what they'd like voters to believe.

For this November’s general election, the "most important" moniker rings particularly hollow. While the election is shaping up to be a close race, it's not piling up the necessary political tender to catch fire and become an impassioned barnburner. Perhaps it all feels anti-climactic compared to the historic aura that surrounded the 2008 election, or maybe it's simply pre-convention summer doldrums. For whatever reason, this year’s presidential contest is showing early signs that it may be the most boring, not the most important, election of our lifetime.

Maybe it’s the choice of candidates that make this election feel like a potential snoozer.

It’s no secret that Mitt Romney has struggled to unite the Republican Party. With key policy positions that possess Gumby-like flexibility, the Republican establishment and GOP rank-and-file voters have been slow to warm to Romney. Primary turnout has been low, and while the GOP base has finally rallied around its frontrunner, they did so reluctantly, committing to Romney only after test-driving every other candidate in the market.

The caution and control Romney practices in his daily interactions with the public have enabled him to avoid any significant political pitfalls, but they have also added to his robotic demeanor and inhibited his ability to forge meaningful connections with his audience. As for Romney’s bank of engaging ideas, they sound distressingly similar to the strategies of our last Republican administration. “Yay,” cried the GOP, “more of what we used to do.”

Democrats, meanwhile, continue to be periodically inspired by President Obama, but some of his luster has most assuredly worn off.

Play Time Is Over for Obama and Democrats

The Way We Were
Photo: Getty Images

For nearly a year, we Democrats have lounged comfortably on our sofas, munching our popcorn and writing our snarky blogs, while the GOP circus came to town each day and entertained us.

Big top performers like Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum amazed and amused us, while unforgettably freakish sideshow acts like Rick Perry, Herman Cain, and Michelle Bachmann, sent us wildly retreating in horror and befuddlement. Until now, a good time was had by all.

As the primary race nears its inevitable conclusion though, and the Republican party finally moves forward through the stages of grief (Romney "denial" seems to have been an inordinately stubborn phase), those hilarious political barbs we've seen the GOP contenders toss candidly at each other will now be sharpened and hurled with increasing force at President Obama and his policies.

Remember how much fun those televised debates were? Rick Perry stumble-fucking his way through almost every argument or response, Herman Cain sound-biting his way to shooting star-like brightness and burnout, Ron Paul sounding measured and reasonable - pushing his thoughtful agenda of actual ideas as if someone in the GOP really cared, and Michelle Bachmann, that wacky Minnesota congresswoman, just plain scaring the crap out of all of us. Oh, the memories. Letting go is hard, but we can't let ourselves live in the past. We all have to move on eventually.

Here we are at last, with a clear frontrunner and a nearly presumptive Republican nominee. Beware Democrats! I warn you - this one is not like the others. While the rest of the field has been sloppy, undisciplined, and slightly lunatic, Mitt Romney has proven himself to be a well-oiled machine (sorry, as soon as I thought of it, I had to use it).

Romney is prepared and organized, and with more than five years of practice under his belt, he is finally a formidable foe in the world of presidential politics. He's a master of deception, capable of deftly shifting positions right before your eyes, a man who can appear to be passionate about nothing while caring deeply about representing his own interests.

Here's a look at the clever trickery we have to look forward to from the Romney campaign.