Life Advice From Louis C.K. That Might Make You Sorry You Asked

A new book of not-so-helpful advice from famous people is being published by the folks at The Believer magazine. This exciting new work, entitled Care To Make Love in That Gross Little Space Between Cars?, contains a wealth of personal guidance from a group of stable well-rounded celebrity-types like Amy Sedaris, Zach Galifianakis, Weird Al, and Bob Saget. What could possibly go wrong?

You can find some hilarious (and curse-filled) samples from the book here. I thought I would share one of my favorites from comedian Louis C.K.

Dear Louis: Is secondhand smoke really as bad as everyone says it is?
             - Rebekkeh T.
               San Francisco, CA

Dear Rebekkeh: Very good question. Let me give you some statistics.



1. Your name is stupid.
2. Nobody cares what you think.
3. I hate you.
4. I have a pretty nice penis. It’s not huge, but it’s well sized and it’s nice. This isn’t directed at you. It’s directed at any attractive woman reading this book who might run into me later in her life. I’d rather advertise my penis than answer your stupid question. Idiot.
   
           - Louis