How Do I Pepper Spray Peaceful Protestors Without Looking a Bit Douche-y?

Not since Rodney King has there been such an uproar over unnecessarily brutal police treatment of the American citizenry. By now you've seen the video clips of police pepper spraying peaceful Occupy protesters at the University of California Davis. For those of you who don't have television and who only read your news in old school newsprint (and on my blog)...

With the capture of this event on video, technology is once again shaping our dialogue about current events. Interestingly enough, the YouTubing of this incident has done much more than raise public awareness and ire. The proliferation of these specific pepper spray video clips across the internet has indeed spawned scorn at the behavior of the police, but it has also produced a bizarre brand of police brutality humor. The sight of police officers taking such an incredibly casual "watering the lawn" approach to pepper spraying the faces of peacefully seated protesters is so striking that clever technology types couldn't resist the urge to insert the image into dozens of other iconic scenarios. Here's a sample of some of my favorites.

Just in time for Thanksgiving....

Artists aren't safe either...

And my favorite...

Not satisfied with just a few doctored images, internet satirists have also taken to writing Amazon reviews of the specific pepper used by the UC Davis police.

Note: Click the image to enlarge it.

All these attempts are humor are brilliant indeed, but they are also potentially very insensitive to the real victim of this horrific incident. Sure, a few protestors were hospitalized and there was probably some blood coughed up, but what about that poor cop. His family and friends, his pastor, hell his entire community, have now seen him inflict great pain and suffering on a group of nonviolent protestors. And they saw him do it with no more emotion than he would exhibit if he were using a garden hose to dissolve away a few piles of dog poop in the backyard. Imagine his shame.

I put myself in this guy's shoes, and I wonder - how should he have acted? Should he have gotten down on his haunches and taunted the protestors as he sprayed their faces? "Eat it fuckers." Or should he have looked mournful and weepy, offering an apology to each protestor? "Pardon me, excuse me. Sorry for the poisoning." Hard to say, but if I'm that UC Davis police officer, what I'd be asking all these clever internet comedians is - "How do I pepper spray peaceful protesters without looking a bit douche-y?"